What I didn’t expect when I was expecting

It’s no secret I spent a long time trying to get pregnant. It took my husband and I four years to start our family. Now I’m about to start the third trimester and I’ve got some things to say about this experience.

I debated writing this because it has a lot to do with the female body and the sometimes gross things it goes through during pregnancy. But I didn’t call this column “An Open Book” just to shy away now.

Some of these things I did expect, but I didn’t anticipate how much they would affect my daily life. In the first trimester, I mostly experienced nausea/morning sickness. This isn’t atypical; 70-80% of women experience nausea or vomiting in the first trimester.

I found out a couple things from this. One — pregnancy nausea/vomiting is nothing like nausea/vomiting outside of pregnancy. I could throw up an entire morning’s worth of food and then only be able to stomach a McDonald’s double cheeseburger. None of this BRAT diet nonsense worked on my morning sickness.

This leads into my second observation. All pregnancies are different when it comes to morning sickness. People kept telling me to keep my stomach full. They would only get sick when their stomach was empty.

I was most likely to get sick if I got anywhere close to full. I was eating such small portion sizes to make sure it wasn’t empty but it was also nowhere near full. A full stomach was the worst thing for my sickness. I ended up losing close to 10 pounds in the first trimester, and I missed quite a bit of work. I couldn’t come in until the sickness subsided around 2 p.m. Luckily, this job is flexible and sports happen primarily in the evenings.

I also developed SI joint pain in the first trimester, and that is still one of my biggest struggles heading into the third trimester. The sacroilliac joints connect your pelvis with the lower spine. In pregnancy, the hormone relaxin is released to help the body loosen and stretch to prepare for birth. This increased mobility can cause inflammation in the SI joints.

SI joint pain is often described as “lower back pain,” but that is drastically underplaying the impact it has on daily activities. The more I move during the day, the more I pay for it at night. I experience pain when I walk quickly, stand on one leg (getting dressed), roll over in bed and so much more.

I went to boys state wrestling four days in a row. The up and down movement all day caused me to be unable to walk each night I made it home. I could only do so with assistance from my husband or by sliding my feet slowly while using the walls as support. I never expected to be so physically limited during pregnancy.

Before you ask, I have been seeing a chiropractor during my entire pregnancy which has helped some. I start physical therapy next week to get through my last 12 weeks.

In my second trimester, I started developing more pain. Sporadically I’ve experienced what I’ve discovered is called “lightening crotch.” You’ll be just minding your own business when BAM, intense short-lived pain in the nether regions. It’s just as fun as it sounds.

That’s not a big deal. But when I started experiencing constant pain in my pubic bone, it became a real problem. This has significantly exacerbated my SI joint problems, making walking and any kind of physical activity difficult. Of course being pregnant, my only options are to take baths and Tylenol. I’ll let you guess how much relief that actually brings.

As I’m working through this, I was hit with the most embarrassing symptom yet — Hemorrhoids. I’m just going to let you look that one up yourself. So now it hurts to sit, it hurts to stand, it hurts to walk. Pain in the front, pain in the back, pain on the sides. I’m just loving the miracle of pregnancy.

People love to say “it’ll be worth it,” or “this is what you asked for.” I know those things, but just because I struggle with infertility shouldn’t mean I can’t complain about the hardships of pregnancy.

It’s not all physical either. I’m grumpy all the time. People I like will say something normal or even nice and I’m immediately annoyed. It’s like being a teenager all the time.

I also don’t recognize the woman in the mirror. I’ve been either doing IVF or pregnant for nearly two years. My body isn’t mine anymore. It’s stretched and marred and sagging. It affects my self-esteem and how I treat myself.

I’m so blessed and grateful to be pregnant, but I also recognize this as one of the hardest things I’ve ever experienced. I can’t wait to meet the little nugget whose been making me miserable these last six months.