OPINION: What growing up is all about

There’s a moment which happens while growing up where we realize how fragile the world and ourselves are. You recklessly tumble off your bike, you wrongly punch your best friend, you catch your father crying. These moments bring about an unspoken fear of losing what keeps us safe and loved.

“Dìdi,” which I was able to catch last weekend, tackles this idea by showing the world through the eyes of a quiet, Asian boy, Chris Wang, trying to grow up in the summer of ‘08.

His older sister, who he steals hoodies from, is moving out to college. His father is away, working in Taiwan. His mother is exhausted from trying to handle a home all by herself while being criticized by a fading mother-in-law. Chris, he’s just trying to belong.

What works for “Dìdi” is a sense of genuine place, capturing a period in time that’s surrounded by new rules with a blossoming internet. Chris messages friends on AIM, he films and uploads YouTube videos and lies about his age on Facebook. It’s an inventive tool, pulling from nostalgic imagery to tap at the emotional investment needed to portray oneself on the internet. For a quiet kid like Chris, this is his world.

Director and sole screenwriter Sean Wang describes “Dìdi” as being loosely based on his own experiences, which embeds a stake of authenticity to what’s being shown. “Dìdi” is the first feature foray for Wang, imbuing an additional layer of purity to the movie which is vitally needed to portray adolescence.

The teenagers are portrayed accurately as foul-mouthed goons, their voices cracking while saying slurs. Even as Chris tries to be tough and gets in fights, there’s a sympathetic side to him, owing mostly to a quiet characterization which brings awkward embarrassment at times and lonely introspection at others. He gets uncomfortable quickly, but still wants to belong somewhere.

It’s this balancing act which makes “Dìdi” compelling as a story about youth. His adventures as a filmer for an older skateboarding group gives him a sense of purpose, even as he’s outrunning security guards. Yet, with the absence of a father figure, he starts molding his identity and the way he sees the world around those he hangs out with.

Chris’ Asian heritage becomes a point of conflict. When he’s finally alone with his crush, a comment about how he’s “cute, for an Asian,” deflates what should be a tender moment. His academics are negatively compared with the sons of his mother’s friends. At a party, the crowd chants his name as “Asian Chris,” which he sheepishly lies and says he’s only half-Asian (the crowd starts chanting “Half-Asian Chris”).

Chris’ mother provides a measured counter to his character, played wonderfully by Joen Chen. Her passion for painting, despite being ridiculed by Chris, becomes her one way of expression in a life that’s overwhelmed by bickering children and a crabby mother-in-law. She’s rejected from a local contest, and without a single bit of monologue exiting her, she portrays the same sense of wanting to belong, or even to be seen as exceptional.

It’s the devastatingly emotional moments where Chris and his mom argue or connect where “Dìdi” shines. If this is truly autobiographical, this is a powerful self-critique of Wang, and a long overdue apology to his own mother.

Chris isn’t built through this story to be seen as a hero, but rather as someone who is a specific kind of lost. He’s a boy whose choices have led him to feel like his world is collapsing around him, and the moments where he lashes out are reactionary from inner insecurities. It’s debatable if he’s even better off by the time the movie ends, less a coming-of-age but an arrival-of-age.

But even when Chris is at his quietest, he shows an undeniable innocence which builds him. Even after his skateboarding friends rebuke him for lousy camerawork, he continues working on this new passion. As he types messages into AIM, he rewrites to sound more reserved, scared to say the wrong thing. As he vomits into a toilet after a party, he tells his sister helping him to not tell Mom.

The irony of “growing up” is that it’s impossible to figure it all out. Our lives are messy, and in moments where we drift, trying to find our new home, it can feel like the sky is falling. What “Dìdi” shows, through a summer in a young boy’s eyes, is how this journey is what growing up is all about.