OPINION: Brutally human

I don’t like talking about myself a whole lot because, in most cases, I don’t think my life inspires others. I enjoy my interests like moviegoing and I let my current interests carry me through conversations, but if the conversation turns to me, I feel overexposed and awkward.

I’m not a social person, which sounds weird from a journalist whose favorite part of this career is interviewing people. This might just be because I have an overdose of existential dread which shouldn’t be present in a 22-year-old brain, or my diagnosis for anxiety and depression disorders after starting college in the middle of the pandemic, but talking about this stuff isn’t “fun.”

Admitting this always provokes two immediate reactions. One is the pity reaction, where people will feel bad for me because something isn’t “right” with me. The other is the scarier judgement that would put me down as being unable to handle pressure. Both reactions are dehumanizing and always feel like an overcorrection.

I’ve accepted this as a part of me, I don’t need praise or pity. I’m an incredibly lucky human being and I don’t need anything else. However, this path to acceptance required my brain to rip itself apart and put itself back together to understand why I feel these things and how to navigate around them in a healthy way. This process will always be ongoing, but there’s a level of personal acceptance which has to occur in order to move forward.

In 2015, Pixar released “Inside Out,” a movie about the emotions in our head, using emotions like joy and anger as literal characters who dwell inside a young girl’s head named Riley. I had moved to a strange new place around the same time, which was parallel to the story of this first movie.

“Inside Out” is a simple movie about understanding the need for negative emotions, and I really liked it at the time. There’s something very special about seeing an experience in a movie that relates personally to you, like a warm, accepting hug.

Nine years later, Pixar revisited these characters for “Inside Out 2.” On the outside, it’s a surrender from Pixar to fall back on less original stories, which were forced to streaming during the pandemic, and relying on brands and sequels to make bank.

“Inside Out 2″ follows the same structure that the first movie runs, almost to the point of having the same ending, which can feel redundant. The use of Anxiety as a character can be overly theatrical, with phrases like “I don’t know how to stop anxiety” being unsubtle references to both the literal character and the emotional, angst-driven wave.

These are decent criticisms, but I don’t care. “Inside Out 2″ is the best movie I’ve seen this year, at least so far. It’s hard to remain completely unbiased when a movie like this appeals to me so completely. I’ve seen it twice already, it’s that good to me.

I always found “Inside Out” and the emotions fascinating as only Joy is really seen as the only “positive” emotion. Anger, fear, disgust, sadness, anxiety, envy, ennui and embarrassment are all negative emotions, and the plot revolves around this imbalanced but vital dynamic.

Anxiety and the new emotions in “2″ worry specifically with personal perception. Their introduction is at an important time in Riley’s life where it’s all about how people perceive her, from her friends, the hockey team she’s trying to fit in with and the coach who is actively judging her ability. It’s a great setup to give Anxiety a chance to be a positive force for Riley, worrying about the future and planning ahead.

Anxiety eventually takes over the brain, bottling the original five emotions away. This turns Riley into an obsessive, anxious and awkward teenager. She pushes away her friends, becomes overly concerned with her perception and loses sleep practicing hockey.

The most emotionally resonant part of the movie is when all of this anxious thinking starts showing consequences with the inner dialogue of Riley, shown through a memory-powered tree which represents the “sense of self.” There is heartbreaking bluntness when Riley cries out “I’m not good enough” or “I’m selfish.”

Despite the harm Anxiety causes, she’s not treated like something needed to be cast out. There’s one singular moment that broke me on my first watch where a tear forms in Anxiety’s eye, signifying just how much this character, and in a reflective lens as an emotional force, cares. Anxiety wants the best, just as anyone else would.

My personal acceptance came about in finding my own anxiety as a brutally human part of myself. Just because mine is tuned higher than most, doesn’t mean it’s bad for me. Moderation is good, but to extract this from me is how I lose my own sense of self.

This acceptance of anxiety as a part of human nature isn’t talked about because it’s mostly personal and revolves around mental health in a way that some people simply can’t understand. We can empathize with others, but we can’t feel the same way, not exactly.

“Inside Out 2″ is wonderful, a beautiful acknowledgement of our minds as imperfect but powerful forces. We search for joy because we know how powerful it is. There’s anger, fear, anxiety, so many negative things to fight and prepare for. That moment where true joy can be found only matters because of every emotion and moment that prepared for its existence.