‘10,000 reasons,’ the first being faith

Editor’s note: This is the first of four love stories for the month of February.

As she brushes a stray hair from his beard, it’s surprising to learn that Kilee and Caleb Nelson are still in their first year of marriage.

The couple, who will celebrate their first anniversary June 16, joke that the “honey moon phase” is over.

“In the best way,” said Caleb.

Caleb and Kilee have settled in to married life comfortably, but it wasn’t without struggle. However, their faith in God and faith in finding their ever-after, lead them to one another.

Friends

Caleb said he was a somewhat lonely, single, twenty-something working as a sports reporter in Atlantic when a friend of his introduced him to a girl.

“I was busy all the time, but I really wanted to settle down,” said Caleb.

That’s when Caleb was introduced to Jessica.

“We started having breakfast together all the time. We got a long great ... but we just decided that we should be friends,” he said.

As Jessica got to know Caleb, she suggested he meet a friend of hers.

Caleb, who has had spina bifida his entire life, said he was asked by Jessica if he’d ever consider dating someone else with a disability.

“That was something I had never thought about, mainly because I don’t consider myself disabled,” said Caleb.

Kilee said she was approached by Jessica shortly after she met with Caleb. Like Caleb, Kilee said she was feeling a bit lonely as well, particularly after her roommate started dating someone.

However, another set of friends was attempting to set Kilee up with someone else.

Kilee said she scouted out the two men online and studied their profiles – eventually choosing Caleb.

Like Caleb, Kilee – who has cerebral palsy –  hadn’t thought about dating someone with a disability. But neither were necessarily opposed to the idea.

“One thing that ... really sealed the deal was that I called another really close friend. Something she said was, ‘just like dating, you’re not saying forever ... you might just want to try it. If your with your dream guy, he could have an accident within the first year of marriage and be paralyzed forever and what have you really gained or lost through that?,” Kilee said. “That right there was really the statement that I’m like, ‘Okay, I can I accept this?”

First date

The Nelson’s first date was April 2, 2017 at George Washington Carver Park in Winterset.

“It was a really crappy day,” said Caleb.

Kilee said Caleb had picked her up for the date, and the closer it got to his arrival time, the more nervous she became.

“I almost threw up,” she said.

At the park, Kilee recalled it being rainy, damp and cold. Caleb brought his guitar and the two talked for hours.

“We sat and talked about what we wanted out of a relationship,” said Caleb.

Caleb, who considers himself traditional, said there is a difference between dating and marriage, and wanted to make sure they were on the same page. However, he was looking for companionship. For Kilee, she wanted to make sure her future significant other was a partner – a teammate.

Team Nelson

After their first date, Caleb and Kilee went about their week, catching up on Facetime in the other’s absence.

“I could not wait,” said Caleb. “I remember going to cover a track meet and I couldn’t wait for it to be over, because I wanted to talk to her.”

Caleb said, it was those early conversations where the pair connected on deeper issues, which helped their love grow.

For their second date, Kilee drove to Atlantic to watch Caleb lead worship at First Church of Christ. After the service, Caleb and Kilee met in the parking lot to talk. Caleb was headed to see family for Easter dinner, and since neither had told their families about the other, he went alone.

However, as Kilee attempted to leave, her foot caught in a crack in the cement, which she said was the worst fall she’s ever taken. From the fall, Kilee got a rock stuck in her elbow, which she eventually had to have surgically removed and the incident made her start dry heaving. Without hesitation, Caleb held a trashcan underneath her.

“She fell hard for me,” said Caleb with a chuckle.

“I did fall hard, and for him to overlook that, and to pursue the relationship, was an amazing feeling,” she said.

That day, Caleb asked Kilee to be exclusive.

One month

After one month of dating, Caleb planned a “romantic” evening in Omaha, Nebraska, where the couple ate at Upstream Brewing Company, went out for ice cream, watched the sunset in a sculpture park and traveled by horse-drawn carriage through the Old Market district.

“Not that every date has to be extravagant, but just seeing his heart, that showed me that he was in it for the long haul,” said Kilee.

Caleb said he knew Kilee was “the one” after the two attended a friend’s wedding.

“We have a lot in common, we love each other, and we really wanted this for each other. Being at that wedding and hearing some of the wisdom that was shared at that wedding ...,” said Caleb.

Kilee said the people sitting at a neighboring table during the wedding reception joked that the next wedding would be theirs.

The couple married in the same church, where Kilee had watch him worship during their second meeting.

The proposal

After five and a half months of dating, Caleb picked up Kilee one morning and the pair went to see the sunrise. With his guitar, he played a song – “10,000 Reasons” by Matt Redman, a Christian worship leader and songwriter.

“At the gist of it, I was asking if you’d spend the rest of your sunrises with me,” said Caleb.

Caleb recited a lyric from “10,000 Reasons”:

"It's time to sing your song again.
Whatever may pass and whatever lies before me
Let me be singing when the evening comes."

“It’s a good metaphor for marriage,” said Caleb. “Marriages are hard work, and so, it’s like saying, let’s keep going when the evening comes.”