Spectator roles outlined in message to CHS parents

Don’t sweat the small stuff.

Nobody is probably in a better position than Todd Tharp to pass along that message to parents of Creston High School students during Thursday night’s Parents Activity Night.

Tharp, assistant executive director of the Iowa High School Athletic Association, oversees administration of the sports of football, soccer and bowling in Iowa, among other duties at the association’s headquarters in Boone.

As he concluded Thursday’s keynote address about the role of spectators at school activities, he added a personal story about what he’s missed from “the big picture” since his son, Connor Dean Tharp, committed suicide in May 2014 at the age of 17.

Tharp said his son had been the target of bullying and harassment at school, and decided a way to make it better was to take his own life.

"If there is anything that you get out of here tonight, it's the big picture of things," Tharp said. "Hug your kid every night, because things are going to happen. I never got to see him go to homecoming, graduate from high school, get married, hold his children. When you think about small things like, is my son a starter? Is our coach not playing my kid enough? It's really a small part of the big picture. Or a complaint about eligibility rules that force a student to sit out some games. I would have loved to see my kid play five games instead of nine, for whatever reason.

“Your children are our most precious resource that we have,” Tharp continued. “It’s not about the wins and losses. I tell coaches all the time, just put kids in the best position possible to be successful. That’s the mission.”

To illustrate his point that the association is designed to serve the entire student body, not those seeking college scholarships, Tharp showed research statistics about high school football.

Of 1,071,775 high school football players in the United States, 306,221 are seniors.

Of those, 17,501 will go on to play college football, and 13,612 will still be playing as college seniors.

From that pool, 250 will be drafted by the NFL.

The percentage of high school players who go on to play collegiately is 5.7. Then, only 1.8 percent of college players end up playing professionally. Only 0.08 percent of high school players will eventually play in the NFL.

“That’s less than a tenth of 1 percent,” Tharp said. “What we’re about in education-based activities is the other 99.2 percent. The volleyball court and the football field are extensions of their classrooms earlier in the day. We’re looking to teach many of the same values, and hold them accountable in the same ways. If you can’t use profanity or show disrespectful behavior in chemistry class at 8 a.m., then you shouldn’t get by without consequences for the same reasons at 5 p.m. on the athletic field. I know the intensity is sometimes a little greater, but our core values need to be the same. We’re helping young people learn skills they can take with them to be successful in life.”

Tharp, who began his education career as a teacher and coach at Clarke of Osceola, opened the session by reminding parents there are four roles at an athletic event — athlete, coach, official and spectator — and nobody can effectively be more than one of them.

“You have to choose whether you’re going to get certified to be a coach and be hired by your school district, be licensed as an official to work the games, or be a spectator who encourages your team,” Tharp said. “We get into trouble when we try to mesh two or three of those roles at the same time. And if you’re over 20 years old, you cannot be an athlete in our programs, so that’s not an option.”

The final reminder was about respect — for the home team, the opposing team, the officials and those in charge of managing the game site.

“Be respectful and courteous, that’s what the athletes themselves have told us they expect from you, when we’ve surveyed them,” Tharp said. “And pick up after yourself, and maybe a little more. That’s showing servant leadership. Be a positive part of our programs for young people.”